Sneaking Around
by MillionMoments
Summary: SJ AU Both Sam and Jack are assigned to Atlantis.Spoilers for First Strike. Written for AUficathon.


Title: Sneaking Around

Rating: PG-13

Category: Sam/Jack, fluff, AU, Atlantis, humour, a little McWeir, Spoilers for First Strike

Summary: Written for rolleson as part of the au ficathon. She wanted something Sam/Jack and fluffy where they are both assigned to Atlantis. This was lovely and vague and produced the following.

A/N: Love you Rhi, even if you won't civil partnership me. Thanks to sdsheepkiller for the beta!

Well somebody had to do the job, and it might as well be General Jack O'Neill (retired). He had to go all civilian of course, temporary or not whilst Dr. Weir recovered there was no way on Netu that the IOA were going to allow somebody military to run the Atlantis expedition. Jack was actually relieved by the offer, he'd been trying to retire for years but that damned universe kept chucking out more and more surprises and he'd felt very much obligated to stay put. However things were mostly being sorted out back in the Milky Way, which made Earth's main worry a threat from a different galaxy, namely Pegasus.

Even though he was retired people still called him General. At first this had annoyed him. The "Sirs" were fine, that after all was a very general title, but military personnel especially still saluted and stood to attention and all that jazz. Jack had tried to put a stop to this, but then somebody (when he found out who they were so dead) actually found out about that PhD he'd managed to keep quiet for years and everyone started referring to him as Dr. O'Neill. This really made him cringe. Thus Jack encouraged them to all revert back to General O'Neill, clearly the lesser of two evils.

Another thing Jack had learnt in his first few weeks in charge was that there was no way he was going to be stuck in a galaxy, far, far, away with the world's most annoying scientist without his favourite scientists with him. And his favourite Jaffa. Unfortunately Teal'c had turned down the offer to join the expedition, but promised to come visit every now and then. Something about having a Free Jaffa Nation to run. Sometimes that Jaffa just could not get his priorities right. However, Daniel and Carter could not have accepted the 3 month transfer to Atlantis faster if they had said yes before he even made the offer.

Funny thing was, Jack had completely forgotten that being a civilian meant there were no more fraternisation regulations now he was retired until the moment he saw Carter exiting the Daedalus on the East Pier, rucksack on her back, talking excitedly to Daniel about God knows what. Yup, sight of her was certainly enough to remind him.

Air force officer or not, Jack O'Neill did still have some sense of honour. He wasn't quite sure it was morally right for him, as a leader of the expedition, to have a relationship with one of its members. He also wasn't sure he'd be able to wait three months without at least attempting to jump her. Such moral questions were normally something he felt he should consult Daniel about. And so he did just that, as well as prodding Daniel about whether he thought he actually had a chance.

It had taken longer than expected to get the required advice from Daniel, even accounting for his normal rambling. You see Jack had, he supposed, somewhat sprung his enquiry on Daniel during a meeting-come-lunch over what parts of the database the linguistics team should concentrate on translating. His initial query about the ethics of the entire thing had only slightly surprised Daniel, he took a gulp of coffee clearly intending to answer it afterwards and at that moment Jack also decided to state his other question so he got his answer in one long hopefully comprehendible ramble. But 'do you think she'd be interested' was not met with the same mild surprise as the previous question but instead a great snort of laughter that caused Daniel to start to choking on his coffee, as he continued to laugh like Jack had never heard him. The combination of the small amount of fluid in his lungs along with his hysteria apparently triggered a phenomenon described by Dr. Keller as dry drowning and required a trip to the infirmary to encourage Daniel's windpipe to open again.

When he had eventually awoken from unconsciousness Jack was there, and Sam as well bugging him to find out what exactly he'd said to shock Daniel so much. Jack honestly wished he could order her to shut up, but he was through his own fault now retired and could only politely request her to. She chose to ignore the request. Daniel's eyes opening did give him a brief respite.

He eyed up Jack carefully, before muttering, "I think you'll find the answer to that second question is yes."

He then promptly rolled over going back to sleep, leaving Jack both pleased at the answer he had and annoyed that he still had no clue on the whole ethics of the situation. He was just considering making a list when Carter decided to reiterate her presence and desire to know the contents of the conversation between him and Daniel.

"If yes is the answer then what was the question?" She said, clearly trying to puzzle the whole conversation out from this one very small clue she had been given. Jack thought that given enough time she probably could, the stupid genius. "What question could be that shocking, yet only require a one word answer?"

Oh, there she went. Jack decided it might be a good idea to get out of here before she stopped thinking out loud and started pestering him again. He turned on his heel, nodded at Dr. Keller, and ran to hide in his quarters.

Where, naturally, she found him 2 hours later with a look on her face that just screamed that she knew everything. However he was so not starting this conversation, mostly because he hadn't had time to practice it yet, so just raised his eyebrows at her whilst he leaned against the doorway to his quarters and waited for her to break.

And she did, after a minute, "Daniel actually told me the contents of your conversation. Would you like to continue this in the hallway or are you going to invite me in?"

Though the corridor was much safer in terms of the likelihood of him jumping her, the room did offer a lot more privacy from the gossip mongers of Atlantis. He thus stood aside and she breezed past him, sitting herself on the edge of his bed and leaning back. Jack could have sworn she was thrusting her breasts at him.

"I don't think it would be unethical," she began.

Maybe she _was_ thrusting her breasts at him...

"You don't think people might think it unprofessional?" Jack asked her, feeling a lot more relaxed now it seemed Daniel's yes had been correct. He sat down next to her on the bed, despite his brain advising him this greatly increased the whole chance of jumping her thing.

"I'm not saying that. People might disapprove somewhat, I'm saying I don't think it's unethical. And if we don't want people talking, well then, we don't have to tell them," she said in a very conspiring tone.

"Even if we didn't tell them wouldn't they know? Have you heard Zelenka and Sheppard gossip? The two of them could produce a weekly trashy magazine on the subject!"

"What I'm saying Jack," she said, leaning forward towards him. "Is that it's only 3 months till we're both out of here. And until then, we could sneak around."

"Sneak around you say," he said, responding to her leaning with a little leaning of his own. She nodded her head slightly. "Sounds like it could be fun."

Jack assumed the kissing that followed meant they were both in agreement on this point.

Sneaking around is what Sam suggested, and sneaking around is what they did. Jack was right in his statement that it might be fun: it was. Over the next month and a half everything went smoothly, unsurprising since Sam was a genius and they also had Daniel in on their dirty little secret and able to provide them with advanced warnings and cover stories. 'Dates' took place in the more remote, rarely visited parts of the city. Jack felt particularly proud of his little plan that managed to get him into the room next to Carter's, both of which had balconies. Jack may have started to feel too old for the whole air force business, but he could still jump a balcony especially given what he got in return for doing so. Carter wasn't as pleased as apparently the small flood he caused in order to achieve this ruined one of her CDs that she'd left in his quarters. He promised to buy her a new one on Earth.

Of course the ability to go from each other's rooms unseen, though an advantage did not completely negate the possibility of them being caught. With Jack being leader and Sam being a genius they did receive many late night calls. Thus they developed the skill of being able to hide under the covers until the other had shooed whoever it was away or gone off with them.

When the annoying chime of the Atlantis quarters' doorbell went, Jack could only groan. He swore that there must be occasions when it was ok to kill the messenger, but Sam had assured him on many occasions that this was not one of them and thus McKay, Zelenka, even Daniel and a whole host of other expedition members unknowingly owed their lives to her.

"Oh just get up and get it," Sam moaned from beside him. "Hopefully it's nothing important and you can send them away again."

When Jack didn't move and the chiming went again, she chose to elbow him. Knowing he was defeated, he dragged his ass out of bed pulling on a gown on the way. He checked to make sure Sam was hidden nicely before waving the door open.

Rodney McKay seemed somewhat surprised to see Jack. Perhaps he'd thought the lack of response indicated he wasn't there. Since the man didn't look in fear of his life (you could always trust McKay to tell everyone they were all going to die) Jack regretted answering as he probably would have gone away in a minute.

However, since he was up, "What?"

"Err," the man actually seemed unsure of himself, but then that hesitation was replaced with something a lot more smug. "I wanted to speak to Col. Carter."

Years of special ops training kicked in to school Jack's features and voice so he didn't reveal anything, "And what, McKay, makes you think she would be here?"

"Well," said Rodney, as if he were presenting the benefits of pursuing a certain line of scientific enquiry. "First off there is the fact that these are her quarters."

He paused briefly, "Secondly I think you'll find your sheets just swore in a voice remarkably similar to Colonel Carter's."

Yup, thought Jack, they were so busted.

Jack very unwillingly (mostly due to Carter's state of undress) dragged McKay into the room. Sam appeared to be taking their discovery badly. She had buried her head underneath a pillow and was muttering something along the lines of 'Why God? Why him? Anyone but him!' over and over. Jack surmised that this meant any form of damage control was up to him.

"Is this allowed?" Apparently McKay was going to start the conversation.

"Now that I am retired there are no specific rules or regulations that prevent me having a relationship with a member of the military," Jack stated carefully. He really hoped that would be enough to satisfy McKay.

"There aren't?" said McKay. He actually seemed...pleased. "How about two civilians? In the context of this expedition? And obviously not two civilians of the same rank - say a civilian leader and scientist."

Jack could not be hearing what he thought he was hearing. McKay was asking if a civilian scientist, presumably McKay himself, could have a relationship with the civilian leader of the expedition, which was him...

"McKay are you propositioning me?" Jack exclaimed.

Jack didn't think it was possible for all the blood to drain out of somebody's face that fast, but apparently it was, "Good God no! I wasn't talking about you! Though come to think of it my wording may have suggested it..."

"Then who were you talking about?" asked Jack. He spotted Sam poking her head out from under the pillow, clearly interested in the answer as well.

"Ah well," McKay had now become somewhat flustered, and the colour was returning to his cheeks almost as rapidly as it had left. "That would be...well...Elizabeth."

"Really," said Jack, grinning.

"Yeah," said McKay. "But I always thought, you see, that there would be some rule against it that I just hadn't found yet, or that the IOA or somebody would think it unprofessional or something. But if you two are getting away with it..."

"Well, Rodney, Carter and I wish you every bit of luck in that little endeavour. You know the key to avoiding any problems with the IOA is just simple discretion. And on that point, if you tell anyone about me and Carter I will tell the entirety of Atlantis about your little crush and believe you me I'll put it in such a way that you come out sounding like a dirty old man," Jack gave this statement with an air of finality, and enjoyed watching Rodney squirm a little.

"You wouldn't really tell everyone in Atlantis..." he said disbelievingly.

Jack took a moment to compliment that, "You know McKay, you're right. I wouldn't tell everyone. Just Sheppard."

"So," said Rodney. "You two enjoy the rest of your evening, err, night. Colonel Carter I didn't need to see you about anything urgent just some calculations that have been bothering me, I'm sure we could catch up tomorrow. Sorry about disturbing you, time sometimes gets away from me when I'm working, you know?" Rodney said all this whilst waving his arms around a lot and backing out of the door.

Once said door was closed firmly behind him, Jack turned back to the bed to find Carter now sitting up, "Shall we get back to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted?"

Sam snorted, "You mean sleeping?"

"You're right, sleeping does sound a little boring doesn't it?" said Jack, even though Sam hadn't implied any such thing. "Why don't we get back to what we were doing, say, two hours ago?"

Sam grinned at him. Jack assumed the sex that followed meant they were both in agreement on this point.


End file.
